Praying for Improvements

Once again, I find myself wishing I could fix things for people I care about.  I still end up feeling frustrated by my inability to do so.

Daughter is finding that being on your own is not all fun and games.  Responsibilities weigh on your shoulders, and you have to make some tough decisions.  Health issues are not helping matters - how do you fight everything else when you don’t feel well?  I do what I can to help.  I listen to her vent and try to offer helpful suggestions when they seem appropriate.  Other times, I just listen because I know she doesn’t want my input.  It’s hard, though, because the mother in me wants to take over and solve the problems. Not that I have all the answers...I don’t.

She and her boyfriend don’t see eye-to-eye on several things. She tells me about some of their arguments, but I have tried hard to stay out of their relationship.  I encourage her when she needs encouragement, but I also point out the other side for her to consider when she’s being closed-minded.  I can’t tell her what to do but hopefully I can help her see options so she can make the right decisions for her.  Money is, not surprisingly, one of their big issues.  Give and take in a relationship is another.  With different upbringings, they are struggling to find some common ground.  I continue to pray for them to find it.

I checked in with the parental units this week.  Mom is having a lot of pain and isn’t sure what is causing it.  Possibly sciatica, but her doctor has ordered an MRI for this week to check things out. I know her pain must be bad because she usually has a pretty high pain tolerance.  My brother who lives with them had another setback.  He was about to be released to return to work when his other foot began having problems.  I’m told that it was very swollen and he couldn’t put any weight on it.  The doctor believes he has a stress fracture, possibly from overcompensating with his first foot problems.  So now he’s off work until early February.  He’s been off since September so his health issues are really creating problems for him.  I suspect they are also creating headaches for my parents.

Yesterday we visited my father-in-law again.  The first hour and a half went fairly well.  He had just turned on his computer when we arrived.  He proceeded to read to us from the journal he uses on his computer.  I believe the file he opens and reads from is probably a year or two old, but he doesn’t seem to know the difference.  We would add comments or ask him questions, but then he would go back to reading.  Finally, he started asking us about his wife - if we had seen her there.  He believes she is renting the place for them, but he also believes she is cheating on him because she doesn’t spend much time with him.  That upsets him because he says he can’t prove it.  We tried to assure him that she cares about him and that we don’t think she is having an affair, but he was having none of it.  We tried distracting him and getting him onto another subject but he was stuck on his wife.  He became agitated and tearful, and that was very hard to take.  When it was time for us to leave, he walked with us toward the door.  We told him that his kids love him and that we will be back, but not for several days.  Then he told my hubby that he might as well go hang himself. That was upsetting to hear.  Hubby told him not to think that way, and to remember that his kids love him, and that we’ll be back to see him.  As we entered the passcode to leave and went through the door, he made a beeline to follow us and Hubby had to force the door shut so his dad could not get out with us.  Watching his face through the small window on the door as we did that was heartbreaking. We felt terrible.  The nurse did get his attention right away, and he turned back toward his room.  It’s depressing to me to see how depressed he is, and it is very noticeable that being in the nursing home has taken a toll on him.  When he was at home, he had spunk. He had life in him.  Now, he seems very resigned and unhappy.  You can see it in his eyes.  It’s very upsetting to me, and once again, I feel helpless.

Feeling helpless is not a good feeling. I will be praying for improvements.