Our Messed Up Week

My father-in-law’s week went downhill after we visited him a week ago.  On Monday night, they carted him off to a behavioral facility.  We learned that the doctor had changed his medicines on the Friday before we visited.  He had karate-chopped the arm of one of the male nurses, and been acting aggressively toward the nurses aides.  Although we didn’t feel threatened by him, it was plain to see he was aggravated.  The behavioral facility didn’t want him to have any visitors, and they only allowed him to take one of his blankets with him.  They planned to keep him for 1-2 weeks.  We found out today that he is supposed to be returned to the nursing home tomorrow.  We are hopeful that he will not be too doped up and that his meds are balanced, helping him be less combative.

My other father-in-law is doing well with his at home peritoneal dialysis.  We also learned that he would be released from the hospital today – we didn’t know he was IN the hospital.  Apparently his blood thinners caused excessive bleeding and they were trying to get that under control.  Hopefully they won’t have any more issues with bleeding.  The poor guy was supposed to start radiation treatments today for prostate cancer.  I guess that may be postponed for a couple days.

We also made a quick trip across the state for a memorial service for hubby's uncle, who married us almost 23 years ago. While there, we found out he had fallen off the couch and hit his head. Being a man, he didn't want to go to the hospital to get checked out.  The family took him in the next day though, and the doctors think he may have had a stroke. The family is struggling financially.  Hubby's aunt is in the early stages of Alzheimer's, and from what we heard, one of the grandsons has been taking advantage of his grandparents.

On a good note, our trip across the state allowed us to visit briefly with my sister and her family, and to attend my nephew's 10th birthday party.  We weren't able to stay a long time, but it was nice to see them and to visit for awhile.

At home, we have been increasingly frustrated with our internet service.  After speaking with the tech tonight, I hope our problems will be solved in the next day or so.  He believes our outside equipment is at fault -- apparently whoever installed our equipment put up a radio too strong for our location. He told me the equipment we have is for someone who lives more than 3 miles from the access point.  I live less than 1 mile from the access point.  Shouldn't they have figured this out before now?  We've had problems off and on and I've had them out here at least twice before... Well, anyway, I hope this resolves our issues!

Escape from ... Everything?

Today’s hour and a half visit to the nursing home seemed more like an eternity.  The first half hour, my father-in-law was pretty good.  He was watching Nascar qualifying and invited us into his room to watch with him.  He was excited that Danica Patrick had qualified fastest (so far) and was on the pole for the Daytona 500.  Things deteriorated quickly after that. He apologized to us but said he had to get home because someone was coming by the house. When he couldn’t find his jacket or gloves, he put on another long-sleeved shirt and headed out the door.  I went and walked with him, and he took me to the end of the hall, away from where the nurses are.  There is an emergency door there.  He looked like he wanted to go out but I told him we couldn’t get out that way, and after thinking about it for a few seconds, he turned away and walked back to his room with me.

We tried to get him interested in qualifying again but he was having none of it.  He got his computer out but the wireless mouse is missing the wireless piece and would not work.  I tried to show him how to work it without the wireless mouse, but he unplugged the computer and put it away. He told me “they” don’t want him to have the computer. When I asked him who didn’t want him to have it, he said “There are bad people here.”  I didn’t know what to say to that.

A short time later, he headed down the hall again.  My husband went with him this time, thank God.  The male nurse also followed them.  When they stopped at the door, the nurse said “How are you today?”  My father-in-law glanced at him, then shoved his hands against the push bar, lowered his shoulder and shoved against the door.  It took both the nurse and my husband to pull the door shut before he could get out. He’s still physically pretty strong. Before he gave up, he made a fist and started to try to hit the nurses arm, obviously hoping to dislodge his hold on the door.  But he never hit him. My husband put his arm around my father-in-law and turned him away from the door.  It was pretty obvious my father-in-law was furious that he had been thwarted, but he came back to his room – for a few minutes.  Then he went out and sat in a chair watching out the windows where he can see the parking lot.  A couple minutes later, he moved to a different chair, closer to the windows.  My husband went to try to talk to him, but he seemed completely confused.  We decided it would be best to leave before he got any more agitated. This was the most difficult visit we’ve had.

When we left the nursing home, we went to my other in-laws house.  Hubby’s mom had company - my other father-in-law’s daughter and her kids, whom we have never met before.  My father-in-law wasn’t feeling well, so he went to rest.  He’s exhausted from undergoing dialysis.  I had a gut feeling that I shouldn’t leave my purse, so I stayed in the room with them when my mother-in-law and hubby went to look at some things in the back room.  Shortly after that, they left – or at least acted like they were leaving.  A few minutes after they went outside, I saw his daughter and her son head into the woods behind the house.  It seemed kind of strange to me.  Ten minutes or so later, they came back and went to their car, which was parked by the garage, but they didn’t get in.  I stayed by the window, watching.  When they did get in the car, the grandson had a sign he had obviously taken out of the garage.  I told my mother-in-law and she said she wasn’t surprised – he’s always stealing things!  The sign was small, and probably not worth much money, but still.  I was appalled!  Immediately, I went to my purse and checked to be sure nothing was missing.

My mother-in-law proceeded to tell us how the daughter had been homeless for a time.  The grandson has a history of stealing things, and at one point when he was younger, he tried to hurt my mother-in-law.  She’s a better person than I am, because I’m not sure I could have welcomed him into my home after that. The two daughters are apparently trying to get their lives in order, but they haven’t exactly had good role models.  I hope they can succeed.

Hubby and I left for home a couple hours later.   Dealing with his dad was draining.  He’s obviously getting worse, and that is really hard to watch.  And then seeing my other father-in-law’s grandson steal something... I’m sure knowing his grandson is a thief is really hard for my father-in-law.  He’s one of the nicest and most honest, hardworking people I know.

It’s been a long day.  I hope our next visit is less eventful.

Irons in the Fire

This week didn't seem as bad as last week, but it was not exactly uneventful.

Hubby's mom's husband (my other father-in-law) was in the hospital with a blood clot in his leg. He already undergoes dialysis every few days and has been in a lot of pain. They brought him to town because of the blood clot.  The hospital put him in a room with another guy who was "very contagious". My mother and father-in-law had to wear masks while in the room with him.  I don't quite understand why they put another patient in with someone who is THAT contagious with something. After a day, they did move the other guy out and disinfected the room. But I still thought that was very strange. Luckily, though, my father-in-law was released today to go home.  

My mom met with the surgeon this week and he does recommend back surgery to clean out the discs that are pinching a nerve. He wants to do the surgery soon. He told her there are three discs involved. He believes cleaning out around them will alleviate her pain almost immediately. She has also been very shaky lately, and I was concerned about Parkinson's but he thinks the shaking could be caused by this pinched nerve.  I hope he is right. Mom is not looking forward to yet another surgery. I pray that this will be the last one she needs!

Daughter has been stressing a lot lately. She's trying to get her race car ready for the season. She's looking for sponsors and so far has a few. I hope she is able to find a few more who can contribute financially in exchange for having their name run around a track. On top of that, her landlord notified her that the house she is renting will be going up for sale. Daughter was really upset by that - she likes where she is and had planned to stay there long-term. Now, she doesn't know what will happen.  I'm hoping any new landlord will not increase the rent and will let her stay there since she is happy there. 

As usual, I have too many irons in the fire.  Work has been super busy, but then it is that time of year. In addition to family responsibilities, my writing commitments have increased. This is a good thing, but also stressful for me. But, being a writer is my dream goal. I won't complain!

And to my good friend who reads this faithfully, I'm praying for you and your family. You know where to find me if you need me. 

Ready for Spring!

Nothing against Mondays, but one of them each week is enough!

Usually when we have a short work week, it seems as if each day is a Monday.  I’ve come to expect that.  But when a regular work week has more than one Monday, sometimes it’s just too much.  And this week, I had two Mondays in a row, followed by a Thursday that I was convinced was Friday.  It was a long week.

My sister-in-law got into with my mother-in-law.  They’ve never liked each other, and neither one is able to just let things go. They both have to stir the pot whenever they can.  Don’t get me wrong - I love my sister-in-law, but she’s got to learn that she can’t always be in control.

But I understand her frustration.  She stopped by the nursing home on Monday, and found out they had put my father-in-law on suicide watch.  The nurse revealed that my mother-in-law did not want the nursing home to tell the kids anything about my father-in-law’s condition, other than he had a good day or he had a bad day.  That set my sister-in-law off, and I’m on her side this time.  That is wrong on so many levels.  These are HIS kids!  They have a right to know his condition.  My mother-in-law has no right to keep it from them, just because she doesn’t get along with several of the kids. The nurse agreed that it was wrong, and indicated that she planned to talk with my mother-in-law about it.

My sister-in-law wouldn’t let it go.  She called my mother-in-law and argued with her about it. My mother-in-law let slip that she doesn’t want the kids taking him out of the nursing home because they’ll just take him to their mother’s house (she lives nearby). What that has to do with not telling the kids what condition he is in, I don’t know.  But my mother-in-law is off her rocker if she thinks my other mother-in-law wants my father-in-law back! She has her own husband to worry about, and she sure doesn’t want her ex back!

After a couple days of multiple phone calls, things settled down.  The nursing home convinced my mother-in-law to sign papers allowing my sister-in-law and my hubby to take their father out of the nursing home for up to an hour at a time.  And they are now allowed to tell the kids what his condition on but not allowed to reveal his medications or doses, things like that.  I still think that is wrong - what is she trying to hide?  Is she demanding they dope him up? If she has nothing to hide, what is she worried about?  I don’t get it.  The saga will continue, I’m sure.

Closer to home, my mom had an MRI and found out she will probably need to have back surgery.  Apparently she has a bad disc and it’s causing her pain. They don’t think it will go away without surgery.  On a high note, though, my brother was released to go back to work after being off since September.  I hope his feet are healed and that he doesn’t have any more issues.  He can’t afford to miss more work.

Today is Ground Hog Day.  Punxatawny Phil predicts an early spring.  I sure hope he’s right!