Family Update

March was true to form.  It came in like a lion and went out like a lamb, other than chilly weather. We're all so ready for spring!

Daughter was supposed to be racing last weekend, but due to the cold, the sponsors postponed the event. I'm very grateful!  We would have been completely miserable sitting in the cold. No racing this weekend. The first regular race is scheduled for Friday.  I hope that the weather will be much improved by then!

Son is still job-hunting, or rather waiting.  He is supposed to have an interview in early April.  I'm really hoping that he gets that job! Otherwise, he needs to get out and beat-feet for a job.

In the meantime, Daughter was trying to do a good thing and help Son get a job at her work.  Even though we told them up front that he has an interview coming up, they were ok with that and willing to hire him temporarily. However, after job-shadowing, Son was NOT interested in the job. Daughter was livid - she felt she had gone out on a limb for him and that her boss would be very angry.  In the end, her boss was very understanding, although they have the same mindset.  They both think Son is getting preferential treatment from us because we didn't MAKE him take the job. Daughter vented to me for 40 minutes, and I finally had to tell her I was not going to discuss it with her any more. I worried that both kids, particularly daughter, might let this ruin their sibling relationship. But since then, they have talked and are planning to see a movie together. I do hope she is over her tirade!

But that brings me to another point. I'm really tired of people without kids telling me how to parent my children. There is no parenting manual, and no two kids are alike. Girls vs. boys, age differences, times have changed... many things go into the decisions we make as parents. We always try to be fair to our kids, but we've also learned from the first one and made different decisions on some things with the second. That doesn't make us bad parents. It doesn't mean the youngest is spoiled (he's not) - he's just a different kid than the first was. We have had our reasons for every parenting decision we've made. Some have been good decisions, some have not, but hey - we're not perfect either!  

The parental units continue to have health issues. Dad spent four days in the hospital last week. After many tests, they concluded his heart is in good condition (thank God!), but he has cirrhosis of the liver. Mom took him to the ER because he was in a lot of pain. The doctor estimated he had at least 6 extra gallons of fluid in his body - that's almost 50 pounds of water! Water pills are helping reduce the fluid and he is feeling better than he has for awhile. He sees the liver doctor this week, and I suspect a lifestyle change will be in order.

Mom is still having trouble with her back. She was supposed to have the second in a series of cortisone shots last week, but didn't because she forgot and took ibuprofen that morning. They postponed her appointment until this week, and I will be taking her because my brother can't that day. After this, there is one more shot and then a follow-up doctors visit. Hopefully the shots work so she doesn't have to have more surgery.

A number of friends and family have been on my mind. I've been praying for all of you!

In Like a Lion

March certainly came in like a lion with almost a foot of snow, followed two days later by ice. Thankfully our local weatherman is calling for chilly days the next two days, and then temperatures are expected to rise and be closer to normal. We are ready for warmer temperatures, no doubt about it!

Mom had her appointment with the pain doctor today.  She has a herniated disk and he hopes to help her manage the pain without any additional surgery. She will start a series of shots in 2 weeks.  I hope they help!

My patience has been thin lately, and I'm trying to keep my mouth shut and not say something I might regret. I dearly love my family but there are times when they drive me crazy. Daughter is having some emotional ups and downs that I suspect are hormone related. Even though I understand that, her rollercoaster moods can be exhausting. Son needs to find a job, and we as parents probably need to push a little harder for him to be out there looking. I'm trying to let him do it on his own but I think he might need that push. Hubby is starting to have cabin fever - which may be my problem, too. Hopefully some nicer weather will be good for all of us. 

I have been working on my writing. Our chapter has a program we call WIN (write it now), which runs for about 8 weeks.  We are in the third week, and I'm not progressing as fast as I'd like to be, but at least I AM progressing.  Hopefully that will continue. 

A very good friend and coworker retired on Friday.  I'm excited and happy for her, but sad for me.  Luckily I know where she lives and it's not too far away!  I wish her a happy, fun retirement. :)

Several friends and family members are on my mind with difficulties they are experiencing.  They are in my prayers. 

Wishing everyone a happy spring!

In the Deep Freeze

Brrrr!!!  I'm beginning to think I may never thaw out.  Even though this winter has not seen as much snowfall, the temps this February have been brutal. I guess March is going to come in like Lion if this continues.  They are predicting another weather system for next weekend.

Different frustrations continue with the family.  Mom apparently has some sciatica problems.  She's been in a lot of pain for the past few weeks, and her MRI showed some issues in her spine. She is supposed to see someone to follow-up the first week of March.  My brother also had another health issue - an inflamed funny bone (never heard of that before!) and two weeks off work.  Thank goodness he had vacation he could take so he can still pay his bills.  But now I worry what will happen when the next shoe drops.  I'm sorry to be pessimistic but it seems like there is always something...it kind of drives me crazy.

I'm still struggling with what to think about my youngest sister.  I've FB chatted with her a couple times and she seems a little more positive than she usually is.  I get that she's struggling to make ends meet, but I also believe her own decisions have put her in the situation she's in. Knowing that she's always lied, I struggle to believe anything she tells me.  I struggle seeing her post a lot of religious-belief posts, because I don't know whether that's real or not. Does she believe, or is she just trying to make it look that way? I guess I shouldn't let it bother me - at the end of the day she has to live with herself. But it still bugs me.

Due to weather we haven't made a trip south recently. We were supposed to go yesterday but around 4" of snow postponed those plans.  Now we are looking at next weekend, which may or may not happen, again due to weather.

Daughter is busy preparing for racing season.  She was featured in another magazine, this one focusing on her as a person with her racing - not her racing team or sponsors. She's thrilled to be featured, and excited that racing will start at the end of March.  Me? Not so thrilled about racing starting at the end of March.  I'm not sure we'll be out of the deep freeze by then!

Son has been busy creating a website that he launched. He's also applying for jobs.  The first application got him a fairly quick "thanks, but no thanks" email response.  I'm not sure he was expecting that, so job hunting may be an eye opening experience for him. It's tough, because he's never had a job, and he's almost 19 years old.  I hope he finds something though.

There has been one up side to the deep freeze.  With no desire to be outside, I've been curled up either reading books, or working on editing my book.  My goal is to have it edited and send it out for submission by April. I'm tired of saying it's not done yet.  I'm tired of not being published when being published is my goal. I WILL finish this book and send it out.  :)

Until next time, stay warm!

And... I Lied

January started out well, but it's going downhill fast.

I apologize in advance for this negative post.  But I need to vent.

Some days, I really really hate being the Referee.  Sometimes I hate that I care so much about other people and their feelings.  People tell me things because they feel comfortable talking to me. I'm always trying to help people and maybe I shouldn't. I end up hearing two sides to the stories, and while I usually understand both of them, I always try to help the left side see the right, and vice versa.  Or maybe it's trying to get the wrong side to see the right side, or vice versa.  Tonight, I really don't know.

People I care about are disappointed in each other. Neither one wants to see the other person's side.  They both think they are right.  They are, but they aren't.  I honestly believe there is a middle ground, if only they would stop being so stubborn and try to meet in the middle. It tears me up to see them arguing over something that is important, but not so important as to ruin their relationship over.  Why can't they open their eyes and see the other side?  Because they're both too busy being "right"!

I don't think either one has considered what they are doing to me by putting me in the middle. Ugh. Can I just knock their heads together?

In addition to that stress, I neglected to mention that my brother was able to get some credit and buy a new-to-him car. I realize at some point, he needs to try to reestablish his credit that was ruined, but I don't think getting a loan for a 2 year old vehicle is the way to do it!  No, nobody asked me. But if you can't afford a high payment, don't you get as decent a car as you can for the least amount, so you CAN reestablish your credit without failing again? I hope he proves me wrong, I really do.  But I have a hard time being excited for him that he got a "new" car when I'm not at all sure he can afford what he got.

Money is a necessary evil. Both of these situations involve money. Money is the opposite of being on a diet. You have to burn more calories than you take in, in order to diet.  You have to earn more money than you spend to stay afloat financially. Both situations can be extremely frustrating.

I'm done venting.  Now I'm going to eat some chocolate.

January Off To A Good Start!

My parents are hanging in there. Mom has been having some trouble with pain in her hip and the doctor thinks it may be sciatica. He has recommended an MRI but she is waiting on insurance approval to have it. I'm really not sure what the treatment is - or even if there is one - for sciatica. I just hope it doesn't mean more pills.  I've been concerned because she has gradually been adding stuff back in. Her shaky hands are back. She seems relatively clear-thinking, though, so that's good. Dad is up and down, moody as usual. I think he is depressed, but he will never admit it.  Luckily, his baseball cards arrived last week so that seems to help cheer him up.

Hubby's dad has been having seizures and mini-strokes. We think one is causing the other. But when we've been there to visit him, he's been looking good - smiling and laughing at or with us. We have no idea what he is thinking, but he looks for a moment like he recognizes us.  Hubby's mom is recuperating slowly but surely from her two surgeries this past fall. Her incision from her breast removal is finally healing, and she seems to be feeling much better since her hernia surgery. 

Son has decided not to return to college this semester, and honestly, I'm sick about it.  But he is 18 and I can't force him to go - it wouldn't be good for any of us. The doctor finally released him to do whatever he wants with his arm. Son quickly figured out how out of shape he is when he went with a friend and played basketball - not real basketball but the table-top type game they have at indoor facilities and at fairs. He came home surprised at how much his arms hurt. I don't think he realized how little he has done with his upper body since April of last year! Next up, we're sending him out job hunting. He can't stay in his room forever!

Daughter is working hard to get ready for the 2015 racing season. I like her new car design much better than last years. She's been busy recruiting sponsors, stripping the car down and putting it back together. She's been busy with work and the gym too. She's been stressing over money and not sleeping well, and I worry about her wearing herself down. She's "talked" to a couple different guys but isn't dating. She prefers to stick with "Bruce" (the racecar). I hope someday she will meet a guy who can accept her for who she is. I just want her to be happy. Isn't that what every mother wants for her kids?

Hubby has cabin fever. We ventured out to the park last weekend and it wasn't terribly cold. It was nice to get out and relax and enjoy nature. We've decided to hold off on sending him job hunting because of some retirement paperwork from his former job. Maybe next year!

I've resolved to work hard on my writing in 2015. I WANT to be published. So I've been editing and reading, and I'm hopefully figuring out some things so I can improve. Wish me luck!

I also have a number of friends who've been on my mind - I keep you all in my prayers. I miss those of you I don't see very often, but I do think about you! 

Until next time, hopefully things will stay peaceful!

December Reflections

The irons in the fire continue to burn. :)

We made it through Thanksgiving and my mother-in-law is improving and getting stronger every day. To make it easier on her, we cooked the turkey at home and then took it to her house.  It wasn't too bad, but it's much easier when we don't have to worry about transporting hot food.  

December was busy, as is expected for the end of the year.  We had the grandhog for a few days while Daughter attended a racing event in Indianapolis. She made a lot of good contacts, but also had a little too much fun the first night. I get to remind her of the results before she goes next year.  The big question is, will she have learned her lesson?

Mid-December we made a trip to St. Louis for Son to visit an animation studio there.  We were nervous about traveling there with all the protests that have been happening, but thankfully our trip was uneventful. While Son was at the studio, hubby and I went to the zoo.  The sun warmed the chilly air and it turned out to be a pretty nice day, although many of the animals were not out due to the cold.  Although nothing came of the visit, it was a good experience for Son. I had hoped the visit would encourage him to return to college for the spring semester, but unfortunately, that isn't the case.  I'm still sick that he is giving up the scholarship for 2 years of free tuition and fees at the local junior college, but Hubby and I agreed that at some point, he has to start making his own decisions and dealing with the consequences.  We did tell him that if he is not in school, he has to get a job, which could be difficult given that 1) most businesses are laying off in January rather than hiring, and 2) he still has not been released by the doctor to lift more than 10 pounds. Ah, but what do parents know?

My family spent Christmas Day at our house.  My parents arrived with Mom and my youngest brother mad at my dad.  Nice start to the day, huh?  Seeing how the day was going to play out, I went into referee mode. My brothers normally are moody - I think since they are both divorced, they find it hard to be around other "families".  The youngest brother did much better than he normally does, but oldest was his usual argumentative self.  Granted he is OCD.  Hubby admittedly could not resist egging him on and arguing a different view when he started arguing, and that just escalated until my brother decided they should agree to disagree.  That's a win, in my book, because normally he doesn't go that.  Either way, I wish they would all just mellow out on Christmas!

There were a couple of other events this month that colored my life.  Early in the month, my boss' wife was killed in a tragic car accident.  My thoughts and prayers are with their family as the go through this difficult time.  

Also during this time, I learned of another family in need.  Daughter works with a woman who is a single mother of three (ages 8, 11 and 15).  The oldest has health problems, experiencing mini-strokes and recently suffering a major stroke the week of Thanksgiving.  The mom has missed a lot of work because of the hospital stay and other bills, and she was very upset that she wouldn't be able to do much for her girls for Christmas.  Wanting to help, I submitted a Christmas wish to a local radio station that was granting Christmas wishes.  I shared this woman's story and said my wish was to provide her with a gas card and a couple of Visa gift cards so she could do something for her girls for Christmas.  I was thrilled when the radio station called to tell me they were granting my wish! Three days before Christmas, I was able to pick up the gift cards and delivered them to the woman at Daughter's work.  Some of her friends had heard the wish on the radio and told her about it, so it wasn't a complete surprise, but she still didn't know who had done it.  I'd only met this woman once before, but I just felt that I had to do something to help. Having the radio station grant my wish was awesome, and a wonderful gift to this woman and her family. I'm so thankful!

During the final days of 2014, I want to reflect on all that I've accomplished, and all that I want to accomplish in the new year.  I'll set some goals - maybe not resolutions since they are so hard to keep - but at least some goals which should be attainable. 

I'm so thankful for all my friends and family who make my life complete.  You're all in my thoughts and prayers on a daily basis.  Here's to you in the new year!

Sending Positive Thoughts

Well, it's been awhile.  As usual, I've got too many irons in the fire.  I thought when my kids were out of school, I would have more time but it seems like I'm busier than ever now.

Daughter is keeping busy working and working out, as well as working on the racecar.  She finished one spot lower in the final points than she did last year, but she also had some car problems this year.  Hopefully working on the car over the winter, she will be able to correct some of those problems and have a good showing next year.  On the personal front, I think she has bounced back from the relationship breakup.  Sometimes, she thinks she'll never find someone who understands her passion for racing.  For now, she's happy on her own and just having fun.  I have faith that someday she will meet the right guy.

Son is finishing his first semester of junior college, and has hated most every minute. I fear that it may be his last semester of college.  I've talked until I'm blue in the face about how important it is to finish at least one year of college, but he's not buying it.  Unfortunately, I think he's been almost as bored with college classes as he was with high school.  And it doesn't help that the college has cancelled the program he was taking classes in because apparently they don't transfer well to other colleges.

On a good note, a good friend put Son in touch with her friend who has a computer business in St. Louis.  The guy has talked with Son, requested to see some of his graphics works, and has invited Son for a visit.  We don't know if anything will come of this or not, but are hoping to make the visit before Christmas.  It would be wonderful if they wanted to hire Son, but it would be nice if he could work from home for at least awhile.  We can't afford to put him up in St. Louis!  If it's meant to be, things will fall into place.

The parents are doing okay.  Dad is definitely showing some signs of depression, although he won't admit as much.  Mom seems to be staying fairly healthy and thankfully, clear-headed.  I know she is back on some meds, but not near as many as she was at one point.

My father-in-law has been moved to a nursing home closer to his wife.  I don't really know if she visits any more often, though.  This nursing home doesn't have a visitors log like the old one did.  Our visiting frequency hasn't changed.  But we do think he's doing better. They keep him in a larger room with lots of other patients, rather than always in his room.  But this nursing home also does not have a specific alzheimer's wing.  My father-in-law has been rather happy the past few times we've visited, smiling and pointing at hubby like he might remember him.  It's good to see him smiling and not just staring into space. 

I mentioned last time that my mother-in-law had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She opted to have her breast removed.  She told me that when the doctor asked her if she was sure she wanted to have the breast removed, she told him "What do I need it for at my age?"  The surgery was successful - thank you God!  There was no sign of cancer in her lymph nodes so they are talking about giving her some pill but not treating her with radiation or chemo.  She's in exceptionally good spirits about the surgery, although she is not healing as fast as she would like to be.  They think the cancer was caused by her taking premarin for too long, years ago. 

Unfortunately, a few weeks after that surgery, she ended up having emergency surgery for a hernia.  This is not the first time for that type of surgery, and probably won't be the last.  But we do hope she's had enough for awhile! 

Hubby has been keeping us warm with fires in the fireplace.  I'm really not ready for winter, but I think it's here to stay.  I've been trying to work on writing but fighting self-doubts.  It's all a part of being a writer, but it can get to you sometimes.  I'm thankful for good writing friends who believe in me and encourage me to continue. 

Several friends have been on my mind a lot also, as they are going through difficult times in their lives.  I want them to know that I think of them often, even if I don't talk to them every day, and that I am here if they need me.  I'm sending up daily prayers for my friends and their families, and sending positive thoughts their way to help them through their days.  Love you all!