December Reflections

The irons in the fire continue to burn. :)

We made it through Thanksgiving and my mother-in-law is improving and getting stronger every day. To make it easier on her, we cooked the turkey at home and then took it to her house.  It wasn't too bad, but it's much easier when we don't have to worry about transporting hot food.  

December was busy, as is expected for the end of the year.  We had the grandhog for a few days while Daughter attended a racing event in Indianapolis. She made a lot of good contacts, but also had a little too much fun the first night. I get to remind her of the results before she goes next year.  The big question is, will she have learned her lesson?

Mid-December we made a trip to St. Louis for Son to visit an animation studio there.  We were nervous about traveling there with all the protests that have been happening, but thankfully our trip was uneventful. While Son was at the studio, hubby and I went to the zoo.  The sun warmed the chilly air and it turned out to be a pretty nice day, although many of the animals were not out due to the cold.  Although nothing came of the visit, it was a good experience for Son. I had hoped the visit would encourage him to return to college for the spring semester, but unfortunately, that isn't the case.  I'm still sick that he is giving up the scholarship for 2 years of free tuition and fees at the local junior college, but Hubby and I agreed that at some point, he has to start making his own decisions and dealing with the consequences.  We did tell him that if he is not in school, he has to get a job, which could be difficult given that 1) most businesses are laying off in January rather than hiring, and 2) he still has not been released by the doctor to lift more than 10 pounds. Ah, but what do parents know?

My family spent Christmas Day at our house.  My parents arrived with Mom and my youngest brother mad at my dad.  Nice start to the day, huh?  Seeing how the day was going to play out, I went into referee mode. My brothers normally are moody - I think since they are both divorced, they find it hard to be around other "families".  The youngest brother did much better than he normally does, but oldest was his usual argumentative self.  Granted he is OCD.  Hubby admittedly could not resist egging him on and arguing a different view when he started arguing, and that just escalated until my brother decided they should agree to disagree.  That's a win, in my book, because normally he doesn't go that.  Either way, I wish they would all just mellow out on Christmas!

There were a couple of other events this month that colored my life.  Early in the month, my boss' wife was killed in a tragic car accident.  My thoughts and prayers are with their family as the go through this difficult time.  

Also during this time, I learned of another family in need.  Daughter works with a woman who is a single mother of three (ages 8, 11 and 15).  The oldest has health problems, experiencing mini-strokes and recently suffering a major stroke the week of Thanksgiving.  The mom has missed a lot of work because of the hospital stay and other bills, and she was very upset that she wouldn't be able to do much for her girls for Christmas.  Wanting to help, I submitted a Christmas wish to a local radio station that was granting Christmas wishes.  I shared this woman's story and said my wish was to provide her with a gas card and a couple of Visa gift cards so she could do something for her girls for Christmas.  I was thrilled when the radio station called to tell me they were granting my wish! Three days before Christmas, I was able to pick up the gift cards and delivered them to the woman at Daughter's work.  Some of her friends had heard the wish on the radio and told her about it, so it wasn't a complete surprise, but she still didn't know who had done it.  I'd only met this woman once before, but I just felt that I had to do something to help. Having the radio station grant my wish was awesome, and a wonderful gift to this woman and her family. I'm so thankful!

During the final days of 2014, I want to reflect on all that I've accomplished, and all that I want to accomplish in the new year.  I'll set some goals - maybe not resolutions since they are so hard to keep - but at least some goals which should be attainable. 

I'm so thankful for all my friends and family who make my life complete.  You're all in my thoughts and prayers on a daily basis.  Here's to you in the new year!

Sending Positive Thoughts

Well, it's been awhile.  As usual, I've got too many irons in the fire.  I thought when my kids were out of school, I would have more time but it seems like I'm busier than ever now.

Daughter is keeping busy working and working out, as well as working on the racecar.  She finished one spot lower in the final points than she did last year, but she also had some car problems this year.  Hopefully working on the car over the winter, she will be able to correct some of those problems and have a good showing next year.  On the personal front, I think she has bounced back from the relationship breakup.  Sometimes, she thinks she'll never find someone who understands her passion for racing.  For now, she's happy on her own and just having fun.  I have faith that someday she will meet the right guy.

Son is finishing his first semester of junior college, and has hated most every minute. I fear that it may be his last semester of college.  I've talked until I'm blue in the face about how important it is to finish at least one year of college, but he's not buying it.  Unfortunately, I think he's been almost as bored with college classes as he was with high school.  And it doesn't help that the college has cancelled the program he was taking classes in because apparently they don't transfer well to other colleges.

On a good note, a good friend put Son in touch with her friend who has a computer business in St. Louis.  The guy has talked with Son, requested to see some of his graphics works, and has invited Son for a visit.  We don't know if anything will come of this or not, but are hoping to make the visit before Christmas.  It would be wonderful if they wanted to hire Son, but it would be nice if he could work from home for at least awhile.  We can't afford to put him up in St. Louis!  If it's meant to be, things will fall into place.

The parents are doing okay.  Dad is definitely showing some signs of depression, although he won't admit as much.  Mom seems to be staying fairly healthy and thankfully, clear-headed.  I know she is back on some meds, but not near as many as she was at one point.

My father-in-law has been moved to a nursing home closer to his wife.  I don't really know if she visits any more often, though.  This nursing home doesn't have a visitors log like the old one did.  Our visiting frequency hasn't changed.  But we do think he's doing better. They keep him in a larger room with lots of other patients, rather than always in his room.  But this nursing home also does not have a specific alzheimer's wing.  My father-in-law has been rather happy the past few times we've visited, smiling and pointing at hubby like he might remember him.  It's good to see him smiling and not just staring into space. 

I mentioned last time that my mother-in-law had been diagnosed with breast cancer. She opted to have her breast removed.  She told me that when the doctor asked her if she was sure she wanted to have the breast removed, she told him "What do I need it for at my age?"  The surgery was successful - thank you God!  There was no sign of cancer in her lymph nodes so they are talking about giving her some pill but not treating her with radiation or chemo.  She's in exceptionally good spirits about the surgery, although she is not healing as fast as she would like to be.  They think the cancer was caused by her taking premarin for too long, years ago. 

Unfortunately, a few weeks after that surgery, she ended up having emergency surgery for a hernia.  This is not the first time for that type of surgery, and probably won't be the last.  But we do hope she's had enough for awhile! 

Hubby has been keeping us warm with fires in the fireplace.  I'm really not ready for winter, but I think it's here to stay.  I've been trying to work on writing but fighting self-doubts.  It's all a part of being a writer, but it can get to you sometimes.  I'm thankful for good writing friends who believe in me and encourage me to continue. 

Several friends have been on my mind a lot also, as they are going through difficult times in their lives.  I want them to know that I think of them often, even if I don't talk to them every day, and that I am here if they need me.  I'm sending up daily prayers for my friends and their families, and sending positive thoughts their way to help them through their days.  Love you all!

In Full Referee Mode

Keeping the peace is stressful, and it's starting to show on my blood pressure.  At a doctors appointment today, I think it was higher than it's ever been.  I need to work to bring it down - and keep it down - before it becomes a problem.  

Daughter and hubby are fighting.  Daughter is over-committed and admits it but doesn't want to change it for the time being.  She wants hubby's help with the racecar.  He doesn't mind helping, even though cars are not his thing.  But they're too much alike - both opinionated and not willing to listen to the other's point of view.  It doesn't help that they can't discuss it like rational adults - they're too busy talking over each other and they both think they know it all.  Drives me crazy!  

I'm proud my daughter and what she has accomplished.  But she still needs to learn to roll.  She's so wrapped up in her own interests that she has no patience for most others who don't have the same interests.   She wonders why people don't understand her commitments.  It's not that they don't understand commitments.  It's that they have several interests of their own, which she doesn't understand or care to take time for.  The problem is that she doesn't have the respect for their time and interests that she expects them to have for hers.  I'm afraid that's going to be a tough lesson for her before she learns it.

Son started junior college this week.  Today was day 3, and we've already changed his schedule three times.  I think he's finally got a schedule he can deal with, even though I wouldn't go so far as to say he is "happy" with it. The whole college experience thing has been an ordeal.  He's worked hard to keep his grades up to get the free 2 years worth of college, and yet he wanted to throw it away because he "hates" school.  I was sick about it.  But we threw out some options, and left him to decide.  Thankfully he came around and agreed to go for at least one year, taking classes he is really interested in but not following a specific curriculum.  That's fine with me - I just want him to have at least SOME college!

My mom and dad seem to be doing better, but my brother is having more health issues.  He also started at the junior college this week, going back to school to better himself.  Good for him!  But I don't know if he can handle working full-time, plus full-time school.  Because of health issues, mom thinks she has to drive him to work, and drive him to college.  I told her to put him on the darned bus!  There's no reason he can't ride the bus.  I figure I'm going to lose that argument, but I haven't checked in with them this week yet ... I've been avoiding that one because it irritates me so much.  

My father-in-law was moved a couple weeks ago to a different nursing home.  We visited him this past weekend.  The place seems ok, just different.  He seemed to recognize hubby when we first got there - a broad smile lit up his face as he looked at hubby.  An hour later, as we were saying goodbye, something set my father-in-law off and he lunged at hubby with a fist and a murderous look on his face.  Strange... I don't know if he has a lucid moment when we say goodbye in which he thinks hubby is the one who put him there, or what.  It's heartbreaking to see.

We also received some bad news last week.  My mother-in-law has been diagnosed with breast cancer.  She will be having surgery next week to have the breast and lymph nodes removed, in hopes that surgery gets it all.  It's her choice, and we support her.  I just pray that it does get it all, so that she doesn't have to have further treatments.  At her age (late 70s), I'm afraid the treatments would be really difficult. 

So...it's been a rough week, but hopefully things will improve soon!  

Prayers for my mother-in-law, and other family and friends in need.  I'm thinking of you all!

I've Been Away Too Long

Wow.  I didn't realize I'd been away for quite so long!  A lot has happened in the past few months.

April got off to a bad start when Son broke his arm playing dodgeball. Of course, it was his right arm. He couldn't do much of anything for several weeks. It was a spiral break, which turned out to be good.  The orthopedic doctor, new to our area, was wonderful.  He put Son in a brace rather than a cast, which turned out to be much more comfortable for all involved. Even so, the first few weeks were tough.  He couldn't lift anything, couldn't write for school, and couldn't drive.  He couldn't take a full shower and we had to wash his hair for him, which was quite an adventure. We had to bring the lawn chair in the kitchen and have him lay on it with his head hanging off the end.  Hubby poured water from a jug, and I shampooed his hair.  Let me tell you, squatting to hold his head up and wash his hair was really good for my thighs! :)

After 12 weeks, the brace came off.  Everybody is happier now... well, except for the one little no-no for Son: no soccer!  The doctor said absolutely no soccer for now.  He will have a final x-ray in three months, and if everything looks good, then he can play.  Unfortunately the alumni soccer game is this coming week, and Son is planning to play.  We have argued until we're blue in the face but he's determined to play anyway. He's 18, so I can't really MAKE him not play.  But I did threaten him to within an inch of his life!

Coming up in August, Son will start college - which he doesn't want to do. We are not giving in on this one though - he has a scholarship that pays all tuition for 2 years to the local junior college, so he's going.  I don't care how unhappy he is about that.  Hopefully he'll find something he likes there...

Daughter has also kept us busy this summer.  She has been racing almost every Friday night and some Sunday's, too.  This is her third year. She's not winning but she is improving.  She's also loving what she's doing, and that's what is important.

We visited my father-in-law today.  Over the past few months, we've seen a huge improvement in his condition. They have weaned him off his behavioral meds and he now sits up straight instead of leaning forward with his head on the table all the time.  He still doesn't talk much, although occasionally he will respond to something we say. He loves his chocolate, so we try to take him a couple Hershey's kisses when we go.  Today, though, something set him off.  He had finished a small carton of chocolate milk and was eating graham crackers. Suddenly, he picked up the milk carton, squished it, and flung it at Hubby!  It him him square in the chest; he never saw it coming.  We were shocked but couldn't help but laugh.  We have no idea what happened.  Obviously, my father-in-law is still in there somewhere!

Hopefully I will get back to my regular writing routine again...

Hope everyone is having a fun summer!

March Madness

March Madness has arrived...in more ways than one!

Cold weather roared along with us as we entered March, hoping for signs of spring.  Finally, FINALLY, three weeks into the month, we are seeing signs that spring might just grace us with her presence.  Hubby and I have already been to the park twice this month.  Once, we wore winter coats and boots to stomp through what we expected to be muddy trails, but they turned out to be snow-covered instead.  The second time, with temps in the mid-40s, we dressed in layers but left the long-johns and winter coats off.  It was a gorgeous day!  And as you can see, the wild turkeys were wasting no time courting the ladies.  

Mid-March, Daughter had a crisis and kicked the boyfriend out...again.  Things were going from bad to worse, and she finally just had enough.  After talking to the landlord (they didn't have a lease), the landlord changed the locks.  Boyfriend came home while the locks were being changed and flipped out.  Called his parents to come move him out then and there.  Daughter called us, so we were there, too.  Locksmith was a nice guy and stayed to referee until we could get there.  It was rather awkward but we all survived.  I think they both need some time apart, and while I think they both do care about each other, I'm not sure they have what it takes to make their relationship last.  I feel bad, because he's not a bad person.  His upbringing was just too different from how we raised our daughter, and there are too many things they will never agree on.  The mom in me hopes they can stay friends, but gradually drift apart and find more appropriate relationships. Time will tell.

We visited my father-in-law again.  He was in bed when we arrived, and even Hubby offering him a Hershey's kiss didn't rouse him.  He just closed his eyes and went to sleep.  We stayed for about 45 minutes, trying to rouse him when he stirred.  But finally we gave up and left.  It's hard to see him like that.  The nurses did say he had been up earlier, had fed himself and was doing well.  That was good to hear.  And my sister-in-law is hoping to go see him soon, for the first time since last August.  I'm afraid it's going to be a shock for her, seeing how he has deteriorated.  She has been unable to see him because from August through October she was in the hospital on bed rest, awaiting the birth of her fourth child.  Since October, she was unable to visit him because the baby had some respiratory issues and the doctors were concerned that she might bring home one of the many germs found in nursing homes, and endanger the baby.  We were not allowed to visit the baby if we had been to see my father-in-law the same day.  So it's a good sign that she will soon be able to visit her dad -- good because I know she has missed seeing him, despite his condition.  And good because the baby is improving, which allows her to see her dad.

Writing-wise, March has been kind of quiet.  I've done some reading for craft, and also some editing.  I've worked on the writing blog.  And I'm currently reading a book so I can write a review for an author friend.  I'm not real excited about writing a review - it's not my thing.  But we wanted to help her out by posting the review on our blog, so I'm doing it.  So far, the book is fast-paced and interesting.  Hopefully I won't fail at writing that review!

Another part of March Madness is the NCAA tournament.  My bracket is busted, no doubt about it.  And round 2 isn't even finished yet.  I'm not very good at picking teams, but it is fun - it gives you someone to cheer for when they Hubby is immersed in basketball.

Here's to March going out like a lamb, since it roared in like a lion.  And may spring bless us with warm temperatures soon!

Mother Nature is Causing Cabin Fever

It's been awhile. Cabin fever is running rampant.  Luckily, last week the weather warmed up enough that I convinced Hubby to go to the park.  I can honestly say I've never hiked in snow boots before, and it was a workout.  But it was so nice to be outside getting fresh air!

Last time I checked in, Daughter and her boyfriend had broken up.  They were both miserable, and now they are back together.  I think (I hope) he realized that he needs to make some changes if he wants to keep her in his life.  With the help of a friend, I think Daughter also realized she needs to make some changes. I'm the first to admit she isn't easy to live with. But she has to learn to let some things go. She can't control everything in her life, no matter how much she might like to!

Son is doing well, but is so ready to be done with high school.  A couple weeks ago, he received a letter offering him a scholarship to our local junior college. The scholarship is two years of free tuition.  That will be a huge help!  I still plan to make him apply for other scholarships that can help pay for his books, transportation, and other fees he may incur with his chosen program - officially titled Digital Media.  I'm so proud of him!  And although he may not admit it, I think he was pretty proud of himself too.

Hubby is still happy being a house-husband.  Mother Nature has not been nice to us this winter - we've obviously pissed her off.  I do hope she's getting over it though. We're tired of the cold, tired of the snow - we're ready for spring!  Now with graduation looming in May, hubby may decide to hold off on job-hunting.  I have mixed feelings.  There are times when I think he REALLY needs a job.  He needs to get out of the house and converse with people other than me.  But on the other hand, it's really nice not to have to do anything around the house.  I don't cook (never did much of that anyway), I don't clean except for doing laundry on the weekends.  He's home so he takes care of it all.  I guess you could say I'm pretty spoiled.  Not sure I want to give that up.

We haven't been down to visit my father-in-law as often as Hubby would like, due to the weather. We were there in January and we took him a box of chocolate covered cherries.  He happily gobbled up a couple of them before we took them away, so he wouldn't make himself sick on them.  The nurse told me the doctor had reduced his behavioral meds and that he was doing well. A few weeks later we visited again, but when we arrived it was to find him sitting at a table in the dining area with his face smashed on the table.  Hubby managed to pull him back so he was leaning against the back of his chair, but he kept tipping forward.  He didn't seem near as alert as he had the time before.  The nurses told me he's been like that alot lately.  They can't tie him to the chair, so they let him slump onto the table.  If they put him in his recliner, they are afraid he will tip right out of it.  His wife would be absolutely furious if she found him that way.  But the nursing home doesn't have the staff to, nor is she paying for him to have one-on-one care. It is what it is.

Last week, she called to tell us he'd apparently fallen in the dining room.  They found him on the floor, bleeding.  A few hours later, after a trip to the hospital for 7 stitches, he was back at the nursing home and she was on the rampage.  She told me if they can't watch him at all times then she's going to look into moving him.  I hate to tell her, but unless she wants to fork out a lot more money, nobody is going to be watching him every minute of every day.  We haven't heard from her since then.  We won't be able to visit again for a couple weeks to see how he's doing for ourselves.

I feel guilty but I haven't talked to my parents much lately.  Dad emails me a couple times a week to check in, which I really appreciate.  Mom seems to feel that I should call her because she doesn't want to bother me.  It would be nice though if she would call me once in a while.  The cold weather has been hard on them, too.  And last time I talked with them, my brother was off work - again. Some days I just can't go there because I might say something I'll regret later.  I know he's trying to turn things around, but I can't help wondering if he's doing things to compromise his progress.

On the reading/writing front, I'm getting a lot of reading done. I'm never without a book, and I have plenty in my To-be-read pile. Other than our writing blog, I haven't done much of my own writing. However, this week I met with my blog partner and we had a good discussion about writing.  I needed to brainstorm over some problems I've run into with my manuscript, and she was a great help.  I also purchased an ebook on writing characters that someone recommended.  I'm definitely finding it helpful.  Between my brainstorming session and the book, I'm feeling motivated to write again, and I'm excited about it!

Even though I haven't reached out to several good friends lately, they have been in my thoughts and prayers.  That goes for extended family too!

Mid-January and Already I'm Behind!

Pretty sad that the new year just started and already I'm behind, isn't it?

Ah well...that's the way it goes.

We had a good holiday break. I hope you and yours did, as well. It was really nice to sleep in every day, especially since we had so much snow. Knowing I didn't have to go out in it was nice. But the snow didn't stop when I went back to work. We've had more snow, and terribly cold temperatures. Although we needed a really good cold snap to kill germs, I've had enough of it. I'm ready for spring!

Daughter broke up with her boyfriend and they are both miserable. They want to get back together but boyfriend needs to make some changes or it will never work. As a mother, it's really hard to see your kids unhappy. Hubby and I believe boyfriend really does love daughter, but his family life growing up was very different than hers. I was impressed that when he moved out, he told her to tell US he was sorry. It's not us he needs to apologize to! I want Daughter to be happy, so I've been praying that whatever is meant to be will be.

Son has been busy with computer stuff. I swear, if that boy could make a living on YouTube and Xbox he would. The scary part is that some people do! There was just an article in our local paper last week about an area boy, well teenager now, who is making big dollars doing that. He is apparently quite the entrepreneur. Son wasted no time pointing out to me that it is possible. I never said it wasn't...just that he needs a "real" job with benefits. He just wants to be done with high school (he graduates in May) and figures college won't be so bad because he gets to choose what he studies. He's a very good student, so I can't complain, but I suspect he won't like college work any better than he does high school.

Hubby is starting to think about going back to work. I think he's ready to do something besides house and yard work. I've been pretty spoiled with him at home, though.  He does all the cooking, and the cleaning. I do laundry.  It's pretty hard to complain about that!

I started off the new year with plans to read at least 26 books this year, and I'm using Goodreads to track them. I read a lot anyway, but I have no idea how much because I've never tracked it.  I also plan to really focus on my writing. I'm not getting any younger and if I'm going to publish, then I need to get it done. So, that's my goal this year. In addition, my writing blog partner and I have branched out a little this year.  We are now hosting guest authors twice a month, which means more work with the blog, but it's work I really enjoy.  Son is also encouraging me to work on my own writing website, so while I may not be actually writing as much as I should, I am at least doing writing-related tasks...and writing this blog counts!