Marching into April

We survived Phil's weather forecast.  We ended up with approximately 11 inches of snow.  Yes, it was pretty - before it got dirty and tracked through.  Monday was a forced snow day - schools were closed, and our street hadn't been plowed so even if I made it out of the driveway, I wouldn't have made it down the street.  I stayed home.  

Tuesday was mom's back surgery.  She came through it well, according to the doctor.  This sounds disgusting but he had to drill out part of the bone in the vertebrae that were pinching her nerve.  She stayed in the hospital until Thursday afternoon.  Now she is home and sounding stronger every day.  But, she does have a long way to go.  Thanks for all the positive thoughts and prayers!

Daughter is frustrated with the boyfriend, who is struggling with some issues of his own.  But he seems unable to resist taking out his frustrations by cussing and yelling at her.  He can be very negative at times.  She's fast losing her patience with him, and if he continues as he has been, his time in her life may be short-lived.  I like him, except for how he puts her down.  I just listen when she vents and encourage her to be strong.  Only she knows when enough is enough, and when that time comes, she'll be done.  I pray for her to have the strength to do what she has to do. 

Son is on spring break.  If he had his way, he'd be on permanent spring break!  He wants to make a living playing Xbox and making YouTube videos.  More power to him if he can do it!  But in the mean time, mean mom that I am, I make him go to school.  And I can't help but shake my head and laugh when he yells at the game.  I should record him sometime and play it back.  I don't think he has any clue what he sounds like!

Tomorrow we are supposed to check on my father-in-law in the nursing home, and my recently widowed mother-in-law at her home.  Word is that my father-in-law has been medicated more than he should be, but they are changing his meds, so we are hoping he will be better than earlier in the week when my sister-in-law visited him.  He was so doped up that even he admitted that he didn't know what he was saying!

As for my mother-in-law, the issues we were dreading are starting already.  Her late husband's kids are already showing up, trying to take things.  Two of the sons showed up last weekend.  When the oldest went outside, the other one told her that he was his dad's favorite son so he could and would take anything he wanted.  He doesn't seem to get that some of the stuff he wants to take did not belong to his father!  Today, that same son and a friend showed up unexpectedly at my mother-in-law's house and starting taking stuff.  Scared her to death.  Luckily, my brother-in-law apparently showed up shortly after that and is looking out for his mom.  Hubby and I are afraid his mom is going to have to get a restraining order against the kids (these are adults!), which will only make things uglier.  But we can't have them making threats to her all the time.  So if we go visit tomorrow, we will be discussing options with her.  Why do people have to be so nasty?

Watch out for fools on Monday!  Hopefully April has better things in store for us than March did!

Phil Was Wrong

Phil was wrong.  So very wrong.

Mother Nature dumped about 11 inches of snow on us over the past two days.  I must admit, it can be very pretty – until people get out in it and mess it up.  But I’m ready for spring, so I hope it doesn’t last too long!

My mother-in-law is doing as well as can be expected.  We’ve talked to her a couple times this week.  I think she sounds lonely, but she also sounds strong.  I know she can get through this.  So far, things seem to be quiet on the enemy front.  I hope it stays that way.

Daughter is learning the hard way that men can be frustrating.  She thinks her boyfriend should be more mature than he is.  She doesn’t get the fun, foolish stuff guys do with their friends.  I’ve tried to help her understand that in spite of how she feels about those things, she can’t take it away from him because it’s part of who he is.  She has to decide if she can accept that or not.  On the other side, her boyfriend is already tired of racing...and it hasn’t even started.  In my opinion, he’s jealous – or maybe feels threatened – by her racing.  He gets very frustrated with all the time she spends on the car. Hubby and I are afraid that will be the death of their relationship.  We just don’t think he can handle her passion for racing.

Tomorrow my mom is having back surgery.  Several of her vertebrae are pinching the nerve, and the doctor is going to go in and scrape out the vertebrae.  Sounds horribly painful.  He told her the pain she’s been dealing with since the first of the year should be gone almost immediately, which is good. But I’ve heard anytime they scrape the bone, it’s very painful.  I don’t know if he told her that or not.  She will probably spend 1-2 days in the hospital.  Hopefully everything goes well.

And maybe, if we’re lucky, the snow will start melting...

Life Adjustment

Services for my other father-in-law were this week.  He gave up his fight on Monday, and by Thursday was laid to rest.  The services were a celebration of life, and we heard many stories about things he had done, lives he had touched.  He was an amazing man, and I'm glad he is not suffering any longer.

My mother-in-law will have a tough time of it for awhile.  They'd been married almost 23 years. We are all concerned about her being alone out in the country.  We are concerned about how desperate his kids will become when they finally figure out that he left everything to her, and that at least for the time being, they get nothing.  My mother-in-law has every intention of leaving them most of the land when she passes on, but they don't care about that.  They want it now, and they want her out of the house and off the land. The oldest son has gone so far - even before his father passed on - to call the county zoning board. He wanted to find out if their house - rebuilt by contractors after the fire burned the first house down - was up to code. As of the visitation, there was talk that they don't believe there is a will (there is) and if there is one, they think it was forged.

At the luncheon following graveside services, our family sat together.  His five kids each took a place away from the others. It was one of the strangest things I've ever seen.  They barely talked to each other. I also found out my mother-in-law tried to help the youngest daughter, who has no money, by paying for her hotel room.  The daughter, true to past form, couldn't just accept that and be happy.  She told the others that my mother-in-law was also paying for their rooms!  My mother-in-law quickly nipped that in the bud - she was not paying for all of them. She was only trying to help one who had no money, and apparently it was seen as another opportunity to take advantage.  The others can afford their own hotel rooms.

Each of the five kids acted as if they really cared about my mother-in-law, but their previous behavior indicates they are only out for themselves.  I just hope my mother-in-law has a good lawyer, because I'm afraid she's going to need one. We don't expect it to take long for the greed to overcome any goodwill they may feel toward her.  My thoughts and prayers are with her as she adjusts to a different lifestyle.

Thoughts and prayers also go out to extended family and friends I worry about. 

Another Stressful Week

It's been a stressful week.

Instead of spending quality time with their father during the last week of his life, my other father-in-law's kids spent the week plotting how they can get my mother-in-law out of her house.  The oldest on even went so far as to call the local zoning board to find out what the housing codes are.  He didn't think the house was up to code.  This is the house contractors built after the house they were building themselves burnt to the ground a few years ago.  Some people really take the cake. 

His kids made it plain they really didn't care about their father -- they were only worried about what they would get once he's gone. They'll soon find out.  He passed away today.  He left everything to my mother-in-law.  Instead of allowing her to grieve in peace, they're forcing her to be on her toes, wary of any stunt they might pull.  Greed does strange things to people. The sad part is that my other father-in-law suspected his kids would behave this way.

Although the next few days will be difficult for all of us, I try to remember that my other father-in-law was 85 years old.  He'd lived a full life, and he was ready to go home to his Lord. I wish him peace.

We visited my father-in-law yesterday. They have him on twice a day meds that seem to be helping, depending how you look at it. It's obvious he is being controlled by medicine - he was very calm and surprisingly coherent, for a change. It was nice not to argue with him over his not being able to leave, and we didn't have to worry about him trying to escape. Still, I hate to see him doped up that way.

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with several friends this week.

Waiting and Praying

My thoughts and prayers are with my other father-in-law this week. He's had a rough time this past year, and  I think he's just had enough. He doesn't want to do radiation treatments, and he doesn't want to do dialysis but so far is continuing with it.  But my mother-in-law informed us that they are calling hospice in this weekend. It's so hard because you want your loved ones to keep fighting, but at some point, you have to admit that their quality of life is not what it should be. You have to let them go. My father-in-law is a retired minister, and he is ready to go home and be with his Lord. So now we wait.

My father-in-law came back from the behavioral center to the nursing home this week. We haven't been to visit yet, but hubby's sister told us he is depressed. We suspect they have him doped up to keep him calm, and that bothers us. We don't want him hurting himself or anyone else, but we don't want him to have to be sedated all the time either. That just makes him more depressed and he spends his time crying. It's really hard to visit when he's like that. Apparently his wife also told my sister-in-law that she might sell their house and move to the town where the nursing home is, since he will never come home. Scary thought to have her in the same town as my mother-in-law and sister-in-law! She hates my mother-in-law, in fact - she feels threatened by her. She thinks my mother-in-law wants her ex-husband back. She doesn't. She's got her hands full with her own husband, thank you very much. Hubby and I just don't know what to think.

Things are going well for my daughter as she prepares for race season. Just this week she gained another big sponsor, and next week her race car will be on display at their grand opening in a nearby town. She's very excited, and I am excited for her. Her car looks good! Now, I just hope she learned enough last year to go out on the track and be more competitive. While staying safe, of course!  The seasons starts in about a month.

We're hoping to visit my parents in the next few days. My mom continues to be in severe pain with her back. Dad seems to be holding up fairly well. I guess I'll find out more when we visit.

My thoughts and prayers are also with several friends who are going through difficult times. One of them feels as if he has exhausted his prayer options - he, in particular, needs strength from God. Please keep those in need in your prayers as well.  Thank you.