Family Can Drive Me Nuts Sometimes

The squished feeling continued this week.

I visited mom last Sunday and reviewed medicines with her.  She is just plain taking too much!  I've suspected for awhile that her shakiness - which I am worried could be Parkinsons - might actually be caused by all the medicines she's on.  She agreed that we needed to find out if some of the meds could be interfering with others.  I spoke with a couple nurses I know and then made an appointment for us to meet with the doctor on Thursday.  I don't think he was very happy with me - I was asking tough questions.  But he agreed that she could drop several of the meds, he ordered bloodwork, and we scheduled a follow-up appointment in one week.

Friday, daughter was racing so we were at the track.  About 9 PM, my brother called to say he was taking mom to the hospital for fluids - her creatinine was 2.6 when normal is less than 1.  My brother has stage 4 kidney disease so he knows about creatinine.  He told me the doctor had called earlier Friday afternoon to have mom drop two more meds, and to let her know if she felt she needed fluids, to come in.  This doesn't quite make sense to me - I couldn't get a straight answer out of my brother that made sense.  If the doctor knew the creatinine was high, did he WANT her to come in for fluids?  Or was he not that concerned?  I'm confused.  Anyway, they admitted mom to the hospital. We didn't go by since it was late when we were headed home from the track.

I called her Saturday morning and she said she felt worse than she ever had, and she was upset that they wouldn't give her any meds.  They basically were detoxing her, which she probably needed.  My brother was finally allowed to go back to work after being off because of his back, so he went to work Saturday afternoon - only to return an hour later.  Because he missed scheduled shifts - even though he had a doctors note - they suspended him for three more days!  I don't get that. And knowing he was not at work just stressed mom out even more than she already was.  She wanted meds and they would not give them to her, which told me she was or is somewhat addicted to those meds!

I spent way more time talking to my brother than I had intended.  I'm not babying him, but I believe he needs someone to encourage him rather than put him down, to motivate him.  Not that I'm not frustrated - I am extremely frustrated!  But I feel like I have to do what I can to help mom and dad.

Today mom got to go home.  When I called her this evening, she told me the doctor put her back on several of  the meds.  My question for most of them is why?  Why does she need them?  The shakiness I've been worried about was gone.  GONE.  Her face didn't look puffy, it looked relaxed and her color was good.  All those things have been lacking for months.  I plan to ask questions Wednesday when we have her follow-up appointment.  Don't put her right back where she was!!!

And on top of that, mom told me my brother's car is having problems.  I told her she can't be helping him with that, and she didn't answer - rather she tried to change the subject.  I am convinced she helped him anyway, after she insisted she couldn't keep doing it.  I am beyond mad that mom and dad complain about my brother and how he's taking advantage of them, and they want him gone, and yet the continue to enable him.  It's hard to feel sorry for them when they want someone else to do all their dirty work and they won't take a stand.  I'm going to have to work on that, both for them and for myself.  I pray that God will guide me because I know I'm going to upset them when I speak honestly to them about things.

On a good note, today my hubby and I celebrated our 23rd anniversary. We had a nice, relaxing day walking trails at a local park - something I desperately needed.  He even got me a dozen beautiful roses.  I'm so lucky to have him!

Feeling Squished

This week, the sandwich-effect has definitely been in effect. I'm feeling squished.

The kids don't want me telling them what to do, and yet they want me to tell them what to do.  I can't always tell them that, even though I might want to.  Daughter is an adult, and she has to make her own decisions: good, bad, indifferent.  I can't do it for her.  Son is not yet an adult, and he thinks he has all the answers but he doesn't.  He worries me because he holds everything in; unlike his sister, who let pretty much everything be out in the open.  I don't know how to talk to him.  I keep trying but I'm afraid all I'm doing is making it worse.  Two steps forward, three steps back.  

My parents and some of my siblings are struggling.  Mom is having more episodes of forgetting things.  When I talked to her this morning, she was upset because she couldn't remember things.  She said she was very confused yesterday.  She had laid down to rest for awhile and when she got up, she didn't know where the bathroom was.  My dad and brother wanted her to play Yahtzee, which our family has played for years, and she couldn't remember how to play.  That scared her, and upset my dad and brother, who supposedly yelled at her, which upset her even more.  Then she admitted that she realized today that she had doubled up on some of her medicines. That could explain it -- or not.  She was supposed to have gone to the doctor last week for a checkup.  She didn't remember if she had gone or not, until my dad confirmed that they had both gone.  The doctor was supposed to review her meds with her and may or may not have done it.  I need to go spend some time with her, figure out what meds she has and should be taking or not, and then call the doctors office and see if they will discuss it with me.  I also need to have her put me on her accounts legally so I can help her pay bills and do what she wants done, in case she is unable to do it herself.  It's a scary thought, but she is getting older and we need to resolve some of these things while she is in her right mind.  

My youngest brother is on a feeling sorry for himself kick again.  I know he needs someone to talk to but I don't know that I'm the right person. He's had some health issues, which have created problems at his work.  He's very down, which I understand, but at the same time he's made decisions which have contributed to putting him in the position he's in.  I'm not a counselor.  I'm not totally on his side. I do think he could do things differently, and I told him that.  But I do believe he is trying to make changes for the better.  He just needs to quit worrying about what everybody else thinks and just do it.

I feel frustrated by the situations.  I want to fix things for people but I can't.  I wish sometimes that I didn't care, but I do, and they know I do.  I think that's why they feel comfortable unloading and venting to me.  We all need to vent to someone, so I try to listen.  I'm just not sure I can help them all. 

If I could have one super-power, I think it would be to accurately fix problems for people...the world would be a happier place if people were happier with their lives.

Happy Father's Day!

This week has been a good week, in a lot of ways.  

Daughter sent me an email on Friday morning (it was in texting lingo so I filled in the blanks):  I know this is kinda weird. but I am weird and think about things like this...did you ever figure that when I moved out we would talk as much as we do or see each other as much...I gave you so much crap about talking to Grandma all the time and going over there alot-never realizing I would be so thankful that you got texting LOL ... (boyfriends) mom texts him and I'm annoyed when I'm over here telling you everything.  LOL its because I have an awesome mom...

Made. My. Day.  :) There was a time when I thought she and I might never talk again.  We went through stretches that were probably more painful for me than for her, even though I'm sure she didn't think so at the time.  It's just nice to know she get's it now.  I wasn't such a bad mother, after all.

Today she and boyfriend came over and we got to meet the new pet:  a hedgehog.  He's cute but definitely not a critter to cuddle with!

Yesterday we visited my father-in-law.  It was a really good day, compared to recent visits. He has a new roommate.  They were both sleeping when we arrived.  The roomie heard us talking to my father-in-law and decided to get up.  He didn't have any pants on!  I went and got the nurse and she got him dressed.  That was awkward.  

The weather was nice so we took him out into the courtyard area and sat on the bench, talking and watching the bunny they have in there.  It wasn't a normal conversation by any means, but he was alert and trying to talk with us.  We just had to listen carefully and be patient.  He struggles to put words together but was able to say enough at a time that we understood him.  We actually stayed for almost two hours, and the time was enjoyable rather than a strain.  

Afterwards we visited my mother-in-law and helped her do a few things around the house.  On our way home, we stopped at the house she has in town to clear out a few more things.  We discovered an old school desk complete with swivel seat, an electric stencil machine, an old wooden trunk-like box, and some other things.  We love the old stuff - reflections of simpler times.

Today is Father's Day - I spent the day relaxing with Hubby, and called my dad to tell him Happy Father's Day.  I'm grateful for all he taught me, for having him as a father.  I'm also grateful to have a wonderful hubby who has been a wonderful father to our kids.  Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there!

Enjoying Nice Weather

I feel better about life in general than I did a week ago.  I came to grips with some of the things that were stressing me out, and I feel more confident in my ability to cope.  It helps that a couple of the things that were stressing me have been dealt with.

The weather has been more summer-like, and I've tried to get out to enjoy it whenever I can.  During the week, that means walking at lunch (which is good for my sanity!) and then hubby and I walk again after dinner.  I've also been out with my camera, enjoying the critters and the flowers.

Daughter raced Friday night but I had to send hubby to watch alone.  I was working a golf-outing fundraiser, and Son was with me.  I hate missing any of my kids' events, and I always worry they will get hurt.  Luckily, Daughter had a safe night even though her car wasn't running great.

Daughter also got a new pet - a cute little hedgehog.  She named him Hoosier.

After stressing over work-related things this week, I took some time for me yesterday.  There are a million and one things I needed to be doing, but I decided my sanity should come first.  I attended my local writers group meeting, watched the Preakness, and then went scrapbooking with a friend.  By the time I got home at 12:30 AM, I was exhausted, but in a good way.

Today was supposed to be another race day, but the track cancelled early due to the threat of rain.  I spent the day working on some of those "million and one" things that needed done, and feel pretty good about the progress I made.  I spent the day sorting and pitching things, cleaned out a closet, and did laundry.  All-in-all, it was a good weekend.

I've been a bad daughter and haven't checked on my parents this week, other than calling my mom on her birthday.  I need to go visit them soon.  We are planning to visit hubby's dad next weekend, to check on him.  I know we need to do it, but I dread it at the same time.  It's so depressing seeing how much worse he is now.

My thoughts and prayers go out to a good friend whose son is leaving for boot camp this weekend.  Be proud, and stay strong!

Here's hoping that everyone is enjoying the nicer weather!

Is it Summer Yet? I Need to Relax!

Not that I'm wishing the year - or my life - away, but I am so glad May is over!  It was just a crazy-busy month all the way around.

This last week was a rough one.  I'm feeling so much pressure to get so many things done, and being as busy as we have been, I haven't felt like I've had any down-time, even on the weekends.  I've been behind at work and this week it caught up with me.  I had a major meltdown.  I normally feel pretty good about my ability to roll with the punches, but this time I didn't do so well.  I'm not a quitter, but if I'd been given the opportunity to retire - at that moment I would have done it with no hesitation whatsoever. I can't remember the last time I was that down on myself.  I don't care to repeat the experience anytime soon.

To top off the week, Son turned 17.  So hard to believe that he'll be a senior this fall and graduate in less than a year.  Seems like only yesterday he was my little buddy, and now he's just embarrassed to be seen anywhere with his parents.  I know that's normal, though, so I'm ok with it.  He went to a dinner and a movie with Daughter and her boyfriend and from what little they told me, they had fun.

Today, we had Hubby's siblings over to divvy up the two van-loads of belongings we got from Step-Mother-in-Law.  Hubby counted around 275 items, which he had laid out and spread around our garage where everyone could see them.  Many of the items had belonged to his grandfather or great-grandfather, and handed down to his dad.  They each drew a card to determine which order they picked in, and then we went down the list and back up, over and over again until all the items were gone. It took them about 2 hours to go through it all.  I was expecting some arguments, but thankfully they didn't happen. I think Hubby and I were both relieved when it was over and everybody went home.

Tomorrow is my Mom's 73rd birthday.  These days, I think because I've been so stressed out, I'm really feeling my age, and worrying more about my parents.  Mom is finally improving after her second back surgery, and she's getting around much better now, for which I am thankful.  Dad is getting along well, too.  I guess I'm just feeling my age.

Hopefully June will bring with it some nicer weather and a chance to kick back and relax!