Where Did January Go?

It's hard to believe the first month of 2012 is almost gone!  Wasn't it just New Year's Eve the other day?

I'm relieved that Son and Daughter seem to be progressing, albeit slowly. Tomorrow will be the first big test. Hubby and I have an appointment during the early evening hours and the kids will be home alone for the first time since the fall-out. I've already spoken to Son about it and he didn't seem concerned. Tomorrow I will most definitely remind Daughter to be on her best behavior. And I will be doing a lot of praying that all goes well!

On the health front, Son can go back to normal activities tomorrow! Yay! I imagine it will take him a while to gain his strength and stamina back, considering that his thumbs have been the only part of his body exercising for the past month! Thank you, Xbox. You kept him from going totally insane. 

Now that my immediate family seems to be getting healthier, my mom is having issues with her shoulder. She's scheduled for an MRI this week and will probably have to have surgery on her rotator cuff. At 71 years old, surgery is not something I want her to have to go through. It will be a tough time for her, I'm sure. 

Hubby has been off work since September. Him being Mr. Mom is working out well for me, most of the time. He does all the cooking (nothing new there), washes the dishes, cleans the house, does laundry, and works on a million other household projects we've been neglecting. Most days I come home from work and don't have to lift a finger. I was enjoying that until this week, when at 9:30 one evening he informed me that I was filing our bills and check statements "WRONG"! I've  been filing them the same way for almost 22 years (since we got married), so I had to bite my tongue on that one. But if he's so bored he's going to tell me how to file papers, he'd better find himself another job - sooner rather than later. And if he doesn't like the way I file those papers, then he can just file them himself!

Maybe he's just upset that the Packers failed to make the Super Bowl...

Thank God for Crossword Puzzles!

Bless the crossword puzzles!!!  

Thank you, God!  Son and Daughter were actually laughing and making jokes based on clues in tonight's crossword puzzle!  They found common ground on a clue that led them to talk about the high school chemistry teacher and her "different" sense of humor.  

Hubby and I were in the kitchen, definitely thinking about doing fist pumps in the air!  

Now if they can just keep their footing on this common ground...

Tension and Crosswords

Life is still a little tense in the Referee's household.  

Daughter admitted to me that she contacted Son's girlfriend to try to explain her stance over this falling out.  I wasn't at all sure that was her best idea ever, but she said the girlfriend actually understood.  Apparently she has been trying to talk Son into forgiving (if not forgetting) this incident.  So far, she's had no better luck than the rest of us.  But, Daughter did admit that she had pushed Son too far.  She was dismayed to realize he had deleted her from Facebook.  My only answer to that was, "You really upset him."  Not the most original answer, but it was the truth.  Although we've all spent time in the same room watching TV, they still are not speaking.  It's just going to take time. 

On another note, I have decided Hubby and I are getting old.  We're becoming my parents, which isn't all bad!  Hubby has started doing the daily crossword puzzle in the paper.  I've never liked them myself, but I'll be darned if he hasn't gotten me hooked on them.  Actually, it's almost been a family affair.  Hubby answers as many as he can, then hands it off to me.  I do what I can, and then Son wants his turn.  By the time he finishes, he and I (and Daughter, too) are bound determined to complete the puzzle.  Hubby is content to wait until the next day for the answers. Not so, Son and I.  We want to know the answers now!  Yes, I admit we've cheated by looking up clues on the internet.  Sometimes that works, and sometimes it doesn't.  Either way, those darn puzzles have become an obsession with us!

Maybe the three of us can gang up on Hubby like we did the other night.  The clue was "Elvis, other" - Hubby had come up with "King" but that wasn't right.  He left the room for a few minutes and we found "Idol" on the internet searches.  It fit with the other words.  Just a few seconds later, Hubby comes back in the room.  "I figured it out - it's Idol!" he says.  Son, Daughter and I all just burst out laughing.  "What?" he asked. "I figured that out all by myself!"  

It was nice to have us all on the same page, even if it was something minor.  It was a starting point.  If doing crosswords will bring Son and Daughter together again, them I'm happy to continue with the obsession. 

Painful Parenthood

I hate it when my kids are hurting.

Daughter and Son had a falling out this week - a major falling out.  I'm hurting because they are hurting.  But I have to listen to each of them in turn and encourage them to find their way through this mine field.  Unfortunately, it's not something I can fix or believe me, I would!

Daughter feels that Son's girlfriend is coming between the two of them.  Daughter claims to like Girlfriend but she doesn't like that Son spends time with Girlfriend over her. I pointed out that Daughter spent plenty of time with miscellaneous boyfriends over the past few years and left Son to his own devices.  She claims she included him - and she did, at times.  But there were also plenty of times when she didn't.  But that's different.

Daughter has made no bones about not liking Girlfriend.  Or should I say not liking their relationship.  She claims she likes Girlfriend as a person.  Daughter keeps making comments about lying, cheating, breaking up, and so on.  She's very mean about it and I have no doubt that when the day comes, she will be saying "I TOLD YOU SO!!!"  I'm going to have to knock her upside the head.  Don't get me wrong - it's bound to happen.  Son and his girlfriend are 15 and 16, respectively.  But Daughter didn't have anybody hassling her over her relationships and Son deserves to find out these things for himself, just like she did.

One night, Daughter said some things she can't take back, and Son took offense.  I've never seen him so upset.  Hubby had one of them in one room while I had one in another, trying to talk sense into both of them.  Trying to explain to Daughter that she is not the parent and she has to back off or risk ruining her relationship with her only brother.  Trying to explain to Son that he can't hit Daughter, no matter how angry he gets with her.  Hubby made the mistake of telling Son if he hits Daughter, he would be the one to leave the house.  I tried to explain that we weren't taking sides, but if Son hits Daughter and she ends up at the hospital, then authorities get involved and as the only underage person in the household, Son could possibly be removed from our care.  We wouldn't have a choice in the matter.  I think I got through to him, but at this point he hates his sister for putting Hubby in the position to have to say such a thing.

I spent time with both kids the night of the falling out, talking and listening, explaining and trying to make amends.  Unfortunately, they come by their stubbornness naturally, and I'm afraid they both got a double-dose of it.  They each claim the other is now invisible to them, and they have not spoken to each other.  Tension is high in the Referee's household.  Daughter has no clue what damage she may have done, and what's more, she claims she doesn't care.  Son is determined not to forgive or forget.  I believe they are both hurting, and neither one knows what to do about it.  I'm doing a lot of praying that they are able to resolve their issues.  I believe, in time, that they will.  But it's going to take some time.  In the meantime, I hurt for them.

Nobody told me parenthood could be so painful.

I'm Not a Doctor So What Do I Know?

My family is off to an unhealthy start in 2012. 

Hubby, knock on wood, is the only one who hasn't been sick.  I'm still fighting bronchitis-related coughing from before Christmas.  Daughter is also coughing, most-likely asthma-related, according to the doctor she saw.  Poor Son has had the worst of it, though.  Mid-December, he had a bad sore throat, but a strep test came back negative.  After Christmas, the sore throat was back.  A second strep test also came back negative, but he was miserable.  His tonsils were so swollen I swear one of them was touching that little hanging thing in the back of his throat.  He was taking an ibuprofen every four hours.  For someone who never takes medicine, that's bad.  I dragged him to the pediatrician after New Years because I wasn't happy that the convenient care doctors couldn't do anything for him.  The pediatrician did another strep test and also did blood work.  Results showed that Son has mono AND strep.  Poor kid.  Luckily the antibiotics they gave him seem to be helping.  We should know in the next couple of days how "old" his mono is. 

I thought back in mid-December that he had strep.  No, I'm not a doctor, but I know my kids. Growing up, my daughter had strep so many times they were ready to take her tonsils out if she got it one more time.  Of course, then she didn't get it again. But I always knew when she had strep. In all those years, I was only wrong once when I thought she had strep.

Son is rarely sick.  He had strep for the first time a year ago, but his symptoms were not the usual ones.  Instead, he broke out in a rash and had a headache. His throat was sore, but not terribly, and it wasn't red and splotchy with white spots.  So when he developed his sore throat in December, I wasn't taking any chances.  I realize insurance companies have made it so that doctors have to have specific results before they will treat patients for some things, including strep.  But every person is different.  Not everyone has the same symptoms.  I wish they would listen to me - I AM my kids' mother, for goodness sakes! 

But I'm not a doctor, so what do I know?