Having All the Answers

Sometimes I wish I had all the answers.

Then I think how much weight that would put on my shoulders, and I'm glad I don't have all the answers.  Still, it would be nice to have the ones I need!

Daughter is at that stage in between a teenager and an adult.  She's fiercely independent but still looking for approval.  She doesn't want to be told what to do, but she wants someone else to make the tough decisions.  Several times I've had to remind her that I can't make certain decisions for her; I'm not going to be the one who was wrong.  Today, I repeated that again.  She laughed and said I could, because eventually she'd forgive me if I was wrong because I'm her mother and she has to live with me.  I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not.  By the time I arrived home, though, she had made her decision - a decision I'm proud of her for making on her own.

Son passed his drivers test with his teacher, which means when he goes to get his license in another month, he won't have to drive unless he's one of the unlucky ones.  He still needs to drive another ten hours to have his 50 required hours completed.  I refuse to skimp on those hours, much to his annoyance.  After all, he is almost 16 and he KNOWS what he's doing.  I admit his driving is smoother with each passing day, but I'm not ready to hand him the keys and turn him loose.  On this one, I do have the answer:  he's not quite ready to be driving alone yet! 

My mom is doing really well with her physical therapy.  She's not allowed to drive yet.  On that subject, she is just like my son.  She's convinced she can do it, even though the doctor doesn't want her driving yet.  She can't lift her left arm very far.  She could rip out the stitches if she had to jerk the wheel for any reason.  If she did get in an accident, I don't know if insurance would cover it since she's not supposed to be driving.  And even the nurse told her "I wouldn't want to meet you on the road!"  But mom persists - she thinks she can do it.  She argues that I don't understand how difficult and frustrating it is for her not to be able to run to the store, or to drive herself to church.  She doesn't like relying on other people.  I reminded her that she can pay it back when she's well enough - she can drive someone else who needs a ride.  The nurse said I could take her to a parking lot - an empty parking lot - and let her drive around it, see how she does.  But she wants me to randomly say "Watch out!" and see how mom reacts, how she handles a sudden distraction.  Mom frowned when she told us that, and by the time we left therapy, she had agreed to wait another week before trying to drive.  Now, I don't put it past her to try to drive the few blocks to the grocery store before next week.  I only hope she is smart enough to take my brother with her, just in case.  I have the answer on this one, too:  no driving!  But mom is not a patient patient and doesn't like to be told what to do, especially when she thinks she can do more.

Sometimes having the answers might not be all I wish it could be.