Parenting Parents

This week, my father-in-law decided he was going to the Quad Cities to see his parents. He packed up his computer and some clothes, and put them in the truck. His wife told him he wasn't taking the truck, so he climbed on his bike and took off. They later found him several miles away in another town. He had looked at a map, and was headed to the interstate. Thankfully, they found him before he got that far.

His wife refuses to take the bike away. She doesn't want to be the bad guy. She calls my husband or his brother at least a couple of times a week, complaining that she just can't take it any more. Starting tomorrow, she has him enrolled in an adult day care program. They will pick him up and bring him home, but if he causes any trouble during the day, he's done. He only gets one chance. That means if he cries, if he has bladder problems, or if he is argumentative, they're done with him. We don't know what to think. We can see him hating it, and we can see him enjoying the chance to talk to other people. My husband suggested telling him that this place NEEDS him to talk with these people. My father-in-law is a retired minister, and he does remember those days, or some of them anyway. So maybe appealing to that side of him will work. We can only hope so. 

Last week, my son's soccer team played a rival team for the conference championship. We had previously lost to this team in overtime, on penalty kicks, for the conference tournament. As per their usual antics, the other team's parents were horribly obnoxious to the referees from the minute the game started. They called the refs names, they screamed obscenities, they stomped and carried on like cursing two-year-olds on the sidelines. It was ridiculous. 

During the course of the game, two of our players went out with concussions. One of their players broke his collarbone. Another of their players - their star player - got a yellow and then a red card, which took him out of our game and also kept him out of the next two games. That's what happens when you have bad sportsmanship. The game ended on a 1-1 tie, which took us to overtime. Unfortunately, our team had plenty of chances to score and didn't, and we ended up losing to them.  

Following the game, some of the parents were screaming at each other, their fans vs. our fans. I happened to be in the middle of them, and something inside me just snapped.  First I told them it was only a game. Other parents agreed with me, and were trying to keep our respective fans from getting into a fight. One man on the other team would not let it go. He stepped around someone else, and I have no idea what possessed me but I stepped in front of him (he was a great big guy and I am short) and said "Sir, what are you teaching your kids?"  I didn't yell, didn't scream, just felt the need to make a point. He looked at me like I was a fly he wanted to swat away, but the lady in front of him attacked me, turning it back on me and implying that I was the one in the wrong. I don't believe I was wrong.

You see, too many parents are living vicariously through their children. Most of them think their athletes are better athletes than they really are. I mean, come on, how many of these kids will actually become pro players?  My kids both were active in sports, and yes, I want their teams to win. But they need to win and be proud of how they played the game. What pride is there in winning a game that you only won because you were bigger thugs than the players on the other team? 

Parents, I beg you, think about what you are teaching your kids. They don't know what sportsmanship is. They don't know what manners are. They think, because of how you behave, that they are ENTITLED - to win, to be rude, and to taunt others. 

Just remember, what goes around comes around.