The Nest is Half Empty

The time has come for my life as I know it to change.

My daughter moved out yesterday, with our blessings.  That doesn’t mean it was any easier to help her pack up and move.  But she’s almost 21 and she’s ready to be on her own, so I have to let her go.  She and her boyfriend found a place together, and they are very excited to be there.  Lucky for me, their place is less than 30 minutes away.

We did as they asked - we helped them move the heavy furniture in, unloaded the boxes into the garage, and left them to unpack.  They wanted to do it themselves, and I don’t blame them.  I held it together but I felt pretty lost driving away and leaving her behind.  Is this how it feels to leave your kid at college?

I came home and wandered through the house, back to her room.  She hasn’t emptied it completely, but it’s pretty bare without her furniture and her clothes piled all over the floor.  It’s funny how empty the house feels, knowing she’s not here.  For the past few months, she’s been gone more than she’s been home, but I always knew she would come home.  Now, she’ll come to visit but she won’t be staying.

Isn’t this what we, as parents, are supposed to do?  Raise our children up to be well-adjusted, functioning adults, then push them out into the world.  In my head, I know it is.  My heart would rather have kept her little for longer.

Later last night, I got on Facebook. She had posted a message saying she’d already told her boyfriend “I miss my mom.”  My heart just melted.  I haven’t lost her after all.  She’s just beginning to make her own life, but I will be a part of it.

I still have my son at home, but at 16 he’d rather not have much to do with mom.  I exist to feed him.  And give him money and a vehicle to drive.  But one of these days, that won’t be enough and he, too, will move out.

I’m sure it won’t be any easier the second time around.