Everybody is stressed during the holidays. There aren't enough hours or days to get everything done. Yes, some of this is self-imposed stress, but still. Families are complex units, with each member having (and entitled to) their own opinions. That doesn't make them wrong, or right; it's just an opinion.
Remind me I said that later.
Sister #2 lives in another state and has lots of issues. Apparently she has gotten in over her head because she emailed me to see if I could help - again. I battled through mixed feelings but finally told her I could not help her financially. This is a pattern for her, and while I do think she is trying to change, she's gotten herself into this situation and she's going to have to get out of it. My nice side argued, "But it's Christmas!" I feel guilty whether I help or not.
Brother #2 (who lives at home for now and is old enough to know better!) asked my mom if he could bring his girlfriend to their house on Tuesday and have her stay (she lives an hour away) through Christmas Day. Mom was very uncomfortable, and so was dad. Brother apparently had no clue. Mom is having some health issues, thankfully nothing major, but that's still an added stress during the already crazy busy week before Christmas. She has presents to wrap, cards to mail, and a million other things to do. Dad was worried enough to fill me in and I urged him to stay strong and not give into something they were not comfortable with. I called mom later that night to offer moral support, even though what I really wanted to do was knock Brother #2 upside the head. Apparently girlfriend has more sense than I previously gave her credit for, because she said she completely understood mom's reluctance and she has decided not to come. The selfish side of me is glad; the nice side of me feels bad that none of the family really likes this girl.
Then Brother #1's wife asked if she could bring her mom to Christmas. This is supposed to be OUR family Christmas. It's always been mom and dad, the kids and spouses (or significant others), and our kids. It's a time for us to reconnect with each other, since two siblings live three hours or more away. It's usually the only time during the year when all of us are together at the same time. Well, all but Sister #2. I'm sorry, but I don't want to share that time with a stranger. If there were extenuating circumstances, I would think about it. After all, it IS Christmas. I reluctantly responded to her message saying I was sorry, but I would not be comfortable if her mother came. I said I hoped she would understand, and that I was looking forward to seeing she and my brother on Christmas. My writerly mind totally failed me on that one. I feel strongly about this, but I also feel like slime for saying no. I just hope there are no hard feelings over it.
Yes, now you can remind me that these are just my opinions, and not everybody - particularly my siblings - may agree. I was truthful with all three, and while they may not like it, they can't fault me for having my own opinion.
Now, I think I need some eggnog...
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