For the most part, I've been good about rolling with the punches in my life. But as I get older, I find myself being more outspoken with my opinions.
Last week, I was 0 for 2. I managed to upset both my children in the same day. I seem to do that fairly frequently these days.
Strike 1. Son has been driving to school every morning. Each week, that knocks an hour and 15 minutes off the 50 hours required for drivers ed. It doesn't sound like much but it adds up, and it's a good time for him to get some experience. The problem is he hasn't figured out how to accept constructive criticism gracefully. I think I've been encouraging and not overly critical. But I've told him numerous times - probably 3 out of 5 days each week - that he's taking the corners too fast. He's not listening. Friday morning when he careened around the corner, I laughed and said "We're going to have to work on your corners." I wasn't being mean, but he's got to slow down. He blew up at me, accusing me of ruining his day twice this week. He pulled up to the school and slammed out of the van.
The younger me would have been upset that I ruined his day. This older, feistier me made a decision: he can either do as he's told and slow down, or he can ride. Period. I haven't broken that news to him yet though - that will come tomorrow when I probably will ruin his day again.
Strike 2. Friday night Hubby and I were watching a movie. During a commercial, Daughter started to tell us about something that had happened at work. I listened - I was interested in hearing her story. But when the movie came back on and she continued talking, I asked her if she could finish the story at the next commercial. She said no, and kept talking. I pointed out that if SHE were watching a movie, I would have been ordered to be quiet because her movie was back on. She said she didn't care and she kept talking. I told her she wasn't being very nice, and she got mad and stormed out of the room. At the next commercial, I went and asked her to finish her story. She refused. I pointed out that I had asked nicely if she could finish at the next commercial, but that didn't matter. She felt that I didn't care about her work.
Yes, I second guess myself on things like this. Should I have let her finish, even though my movie was back on? She knew we'd been watching the movie and I was much nicer to her than she ever is to me when her shows are on. It's all about the attitude. So once again, the younger me would have been upset that I had upset her. This older, feistier me thinks Daughter needs to learn to be a little less selfish.
I've always put the needs of my family ahead of my own. My kids are important to me, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let them walk all over me. There are consequences to their actions. They might have to learn the hard way, but they WILL learn.
This mom has finally realized that she can't take all their little jibes personally. I think my emotional skin is getting tougher as my body gets older, and that's probably a good thing if I'm going to continue to be feisty.
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