The kids don't want me telling them what to do, and yet they want me to tell them what to do. I can't always tell them that, even though I might want to. Daughter is an adult, and she has to make her own decisions: good, bad, indifferent. I can't do it for her. Son is not yet an adult, and he thinks he has all the answers but he doesn't. He worries me because he holds everything in; unlike his sister, who let pretty much everything be out in the open. I don't know how to talk to him. I keep trying but I'm afraid all I'm doing is making it worse. Two steps forward, three steps back.
My parents and some of my siblings are struggling. Mom is having more episodes of forgetting things. When I talked to her this morning, she was upset because she couldn't remember things. She said she was very confused yesterday. She had laid down to rest for awhile and when she got up, she didn't know where the bathroom was. My dad and brother wanted her to play Yahtzee, which our family has played for years, and she couldn't remember how to play. That scared her, and upset my dad and brother, who supposedly yelled at her, which upset her even more. Then she admitted that she realized today that she had doubled up on some of her medicines. That could explain it -- or not. She was supposed to have gone to the doctor last week for a checkup. She didn't remember if she had gone or not, until my dad confirmed that they had both gone. The doctor was supposed to review her meds with her and may or may not have done it. I need to go spend some time with her, figure out what meds she has and should be taking or not, and then call the doctors office and see if they will discuss it with me. I also need to have her put me on her accounts legally so I can help her pay bills and do what she wants done, in case she is unable to do it herself. It's a scary thought, but she is getting older and we need to resolve some of these things while she is in her right mind.
My youngest brother is on a feeling sorry for himself kick again. I know he needs someone to talk to but I don't know that I'm the right person. He's had some health issues, which have created problems at his work. He's very down, which I understand, but at the same time he's made decisions which have contributed to putting him in the position he's in. I'm not a counselor. I'm not totally on his side. I do think he could do things differently, and I told him that. But I do believe he is trying to make changes for the better. He just needs to quit worrying about what everybody else thinks and just do it.
I feel frustrated by the situations. I want to fix things for people but I can't. I wish sometimes that I didn't care, but I do, and they know I do. I think that's why they feel comfortable unloading and venting to me. We all need to vent to someone, so I try to listen. I'm just not sure I can help them all.
If I could have one super-power, I think it would be to accurately fix problems for people...the world would be a happier place if people were happier with their lives.
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