Escape from ... Everything?

Today’s hour and a half visit to the nursing home seemed more like an eternity.  The first half hour, my father-in-law was pretty good.  He was watching Nascar qualifying and invited us into his room to watch with him.  He was excited that Danica Patrick had qualified fastest (so far) and was on the pole for the Daytona 500.  Things deteriorated quickly after that. He apologized to us but said he had to get home because someone was coming by the house. When he couldn’t find his jacket or gloves, he put on another long-sleeved shirt and headed out the door.  I went and walked with him, and he took me to the end of the hall, away from where the nurses are.  There is an emergency door there.  He looked like he wanted to go out but I told him we couldn’t get out that way, and after thinking about it for a few seconds, he turned away and walked back to his room with me.

We tried to get him interested in qualifying again but he was having none of it.  He got his computer out but the wireless mouse is missing the wireless piece and would not work.  I tried to show him how to work it without the wireless mouse, but he unplugged the computer and put it away. He told me “they” don’t want him to have the computer. When I asked him who didn’t want him to have it, he said “There are bad people here.”  I didn’t know what to say to that.

A short time later, he headed down the hall again.  My husband went with him this time, thank God.  The male nurse also followed them.  When they stopped at the door, the nurse said “How are you today?”  My father-in-law glanced at him, then shoved his hands against the push bar, lowered his shoulder and shoved against the door.  It took both the nurse and my husband to pull the door shut before he could get out. He’s still physically pretty strong. Before he gave up, he made a fist and started to try to hit the nurses arm, obviously hoping to dislodge his hold on the door.  But he never hit him. My husband put his arm around my father-in-law and turned him away from the door.  It was pretty obvious my father-in-law was furious that he had been thwarted, but he came back to his room – for a few minutes.  Then he went out and sat in a chair watching out the windows where he can see the parking lot.  A couple minutes later, he moved to a different chair, closer to the windows.  My husband went to try to talk to him, but he seemed completely confused.  We decided it would be best to leave before he got any more agitated. This was the most difficult visit we’ve had.

When we left the nursing home, we went to my other in-laws house.  Hubby’s mom had company - my other father-in-law’s daughter and her kids, whom we have never met before.  My father-in-law wasn’t feeling well, so he went to rest.  He’s exhausted from undergoing dialysis.  I had a gut feeling that I shouldn’t leave my purse, so I stayed in the room with them when my mother-in-law and hubby went to look at some things in the back room.  Shortly after that, they left – or at least acted like they were leaving.  A few minutes after they went outside, I saw his daughter and her son head into the woods behind the house.  It seemed kind of strange to me.  Ten minutes or so later, they came back and went to their car, which was parked by the garage, but they didn’t get in.  I stayed by the window, watching.  When they did get in the car, the grandson had a sign he had obviously taken out of the garage.  I told my mother-in-law and she said she wasn’t surprised – he’s always stealing things!  The sign was small, and probably not worth much money, but still.  I was appalled!  Immediately, I went to my purse and checked to be sure nothing was missing.

My mother-in-law proceeded to tell us how the daughter had been homeless for a time.  The grandson has a history of stealing things, and at one point when he was younger, he tried to hurt my mother-in-law.  She’s a better person than I am, because I’m not sure I could have welcomed him into my home after that. The two daughters are apparently trying to get their lives in order, but they haven’t exactly had good role models.  I hope they can succeed.

Hubby and I left for home a couple hours later.   Dealing with his dad was draining.  He’s obviously getting worse, and that is really hard to watch.  And then seeing my other father-in-law’s grandson steal something... I’m sure knowing his grandson is a thief is really hard for my father-in-law.  He’s one of the nicest and most honest, hardworking people I know.

It’s been a long day.  I hope our next visit is less eventful.